Day 6 - going home

I wake with the aim to prove to myself that I can get home. That is the plan and nothing seems to have changed, however, I want to make sure I am making the right decision.

I have now tried taking half the codeine with the anti sickness half an hour before to allow it to work first. This seems to be ok and I don't feel any worse in terms of sickness. 

Again, I get up for a wash and only when I get the shower and look down does the pain intensify. I manage to have a shower with lesser pain than yesterday by keeping my head straight and lifting my legs to me rather than bending my neck. It also seems to be worse if my shoulders are hunched, as you do in pain, so I am trying to stand more like I would usually, with held back shoulders. 

When I walk, it has a bit more purpose now. I am not shuffling so much and can manage further in one go. 

So the home plan seems ok.

I then wait around for pharmacy to get my medicines prepared. Whilst waiting,  the nurse removes my cannula and changes all the dressings.

I manage to get photos of the incisions and am pretty happy with them so far. It was a relief to see I didn't have staples but stitches instead. They all look neat and tidy.

My chest area is really bruised. Didnt think about that being the case. It seems as though he had sorted out the horrid bit of old scar here, with 12 neat stitches, so I really hope I don't have the same problem anymore.

This area is achey and still heavy but not as painful as it once was. I can see it is fairly raised but apparently it has gone done since it was inplanted. Only time will tell what it will be like and how obvious it is going to be. 

My abdomen appears not have been stitched. The nurse took off one strip to see but didn't want to take off more in case the wound isn't held together with anything. This is strange to me but maybe it will heal well?! It looks very pinched together at the moment, with a strange ridge. I hope this settles soon enough. 

This area doesn't hurt much. It's a bit uncomfortable occasionally, depending how I am sitting but the stabbing pains I was getting seem to have disappeared. 

My head is quite tidy. 10 neat stitches on the same line as before. I am hoping that the loop of extra wire isn't going to be there anymore but it's hard to tell with the swelling.

I'm sure they shaved a bit more this time. More like a square of hair gone, rather than a triangle but then there are 2 leads so they needed to feel further up my head.

The nurse thinks I am allergic to the dressing, as my skin is red and sore. She asked if it felt sore but I couldn't even feel where she was touching, so I'm guessing that area is still numb. 

The front/side of my neck is still very tender from the tunnelling of the wires.

They were all redressed and she gave me spare dressings, saying it is best to keep them covered until the stitches come out, and then for a few days afterwards too.

About 2.30pm the medicines came back from pharmacy and I was given my discharge papers and we were allowed to go home!!!

I read the papers first, to make sure I understood everything. It stated on there that I had "depression - existing and anxiety". I didn't know how to feel about that. I suppose it's best it is in my notes and known about but I'm not sure if I feel that I want to move on from that.

It's tricky. I guess them knowing I have been through that is important to understand how I may react to things. Oh well, just surprised me I guess.

So, we were up and out of there, slowly but surely. 

It was great to get home and although it took me a while to get comfortable, I had my fiancé taking good care of me. The first time I went upstairs to the toilet, he asked if I needed help. I said maybe to come back down. When I came out, I found him waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me! Now that's love! 

I know am very lucky to have someone to stand by me through all the bad times and support me no matter what happens. 

I will get through this!!!