I am pleased and anxious at the same time!
To finally have a date (which had better be the real thing) after such a long and gruelling wait it amazing. I will be able to potentially get on with my life, career and maybe never worry about how I will feel and if I will cope again.
BUT...I don't really want this! I've got no choice. At the moment this is my only option.
I am worried about where I will have the battery pack placed. I can cope with the scars, it's the battery protruding from my skin that I don't think I can cope with. I've seen photos of other people's and its nit what I want! I am intentionally on a calorie controlled diet now, so that I show how little space there is for a battery pack under my collar bone. I have got pretty muscly there too, since joining the gym, and believe it's just going to stick out even more because of that.
I am hoping to talk my consultant round to putting it elsewhere, as he is going to call me for a telephone consultation the week before the op. Fingers crossed!
So, in just 3 weeks time, I will (hopefully) be ready to go to hospital and become a cyborg (as so many of the children at school have already named me!)
I just hope that this is all worth it it. That is gives me my life back and that the pain, dizziness and uncomfortable tightness eases and can be controlled.
I am awaiting the paperwork, so that it really feels like it is going ahead. It should be here by the end of the week.
On a lighter note, some of the children on my class, acted out my operation at playtime today. They put me to sleep through a canula, cut me open, fed stick wires through and then sewed me up with neon yellow thread....apparently!! Made me smile and at least they are starting to understand.
Educating the masses about ON has begun!!