I keep getting constant emails from work asking me about the medical reports, but obviously I have no control over when these are completed.
When I saw my GP on 31st October, she mentioned that she had just completed her report and it was with the Practise member of staff who would return it to Occupational Health. She ensured me that she has mentioned my mental health issues and how my condition plays a large part in adding to my mental health issues, if I am trying to maintain my 'normal' life pattern of teaching.
I also got a referral for the Pain Clinic.....finally, as well as a referral to a clinic that has physio etc on offer to help my upper back pain. She also prescribed me steroid cream to try and ease the itchiness and pain around my chest scar. Sadly, this turned out to be dermovate, which I had as a child for eczema, but I'll give it a go.
Yet today I get ANOTHER email from work to state that they have been in contact with occupational health, who have contacted my GP and consultant to request the reports. As of yet they still haven't received them!
I really don't know what I can do. All I can do is wait. But if I keep getting bothered about it it adds to the worry and stress of the whole process. The process that I can't control!
I truly hope this all comes to an end soon. I can't continue with all this adding to my life.
I have come to conclusion, with a lot of support from friends, that the sooner it is over the better. This will avoid having to attend a meeting about dismissal from work.
I also got a letter that I have to take to the DWP to claim incapacity benefit, as my SSP is about to come to an end. This makes me cringe. I have never had to do this. I don't get the process, it is totally alien to me. I know that I am entitled to it and that I deserve it, but it just feels so strange.
So I guess I will continue whiling the time away trying to keep my mind off all this and hopefully one day soon I will begin to know this is all coming to an end.
Until then I feel my purpose in life is moving further and further from my reach. What am I going to be able to do? This is in someone else's hands and who knows when that choice will be made. I can't plan for my future until I know. So I will just wait.......