It all seems to have calmed down, in both senses, due to not having to cope with work as well as everything else. My pain levels, although I do have off days, seem to have lowered enough to manage. My stress and anxiety is better than it was. I am sure I am not actually 'better' as just not having the unplanned and super stressful work aspect, makes a huge difference.
I am attempting going back into work in a couple of days' time so we shall see if things are any better for me, I guess.
It all worries me massively, as I don't know what to do with my life!!
I obviously can't really manage my work at the moment, and again, as I am awaiting another operation to sort the battery issue and maybe change to a different battery altogether, then I am again stuck in limbo. Things COULD get better but who knows how much better and what that means for me life.
In the meantime, teaching just gets harder and more ridiculous and unmanageable for healthy, well people, let alone for me! And also I then have the battle of getting helpful support at work but also my own issues with not having a class full time to deal with.
To me, this all just seems to much to manage, especially workout knowing what my future holds in terms of pain and how much I can control that pain.
So, small steps at a time.
I shall go to work for the last 3 days of term and see how I cope and feel.
I shall see if and what support is offered or changes made to help me cope at work.
I shall wait to see when and what happens in terms of the next operation.
So basically....who knows what the future holds for me, and that's what I HATE!!
After speaking to the Occuptional Health nurse that visited my workplace back in September to do a work place assessment report, she is suggesting a case conference so that my work can't ignore my situation any longer.
This sounds good to me!! Someone finally appreciates that I am losing the battle with my work, despite how hard I try. She also agreed that it could be a massive part of what is causing my anxiety and stress.
So I've got an OH appointment this week to see the doctor and begin the process.