Time is running out!!

I have finally cracked....and have had to take the day off work.

The pain has been building and getting worse, particularly over the past week, but now it's pretty constant high level pain with dizziness, whatever I seem to be doing!

My head feels so heavy and just walking makes it pound more. I have found myself having to breathe deeply (like you do when you feel sick) to help me with physical movements. 

I put off getting out of bed this morning because I knew the pain would only be worse.

I have been phoning my consultant's NHS secretary every day this week, but despite leaving a message every time, and emailing, I have had no response. All I want is to know how long I have to wait. Although I'm not sure I will be able to wait too long!

Yet another September with no idea if I'll make it!

So, here is another September, the start of a new school year, when the worry sets in about whether I will make it through this year. 

To be honest, it's more like will I make it through this term!! 

Last year was different, I had support in that I shared my class and I had one day out the classroom doing other educational work. BUT this year that has been taken away, despite the fact that I am in the same position as I was a year ago.....waiting for the permanent stimulator.

The two years before that though were truly difficult. I only just made it to the end of September both years. I had temporary operation after temporary operation but it meant I had about half the year out of work.

I really don't want that to be my future this year!! I NEED that operation to save my career and sanity!

Already, since the summer, my pain has increased. It is still up and down but the highest levels are much more often and much more painful than there were during my holidays.

Today I experienced my first dizzy spell whilst teaching. I know I can almost manage to ensure the children don't really notice but I know this is just the start. I've been back at work for 6 days!!!

This is utterly ridiculous :(