4 weeks post surgery

It has almost been a month. 4 weeks have passed by since my operation and despite some improvement, I am still uncertain of what the future of this operation holds.

Of course I am not able to move about more and in less surgical pain or discomfort. BUT the nerve pain is still there. It still pulls on my scalp and stabs into the crown of my head when I look downwards. Washing my face in the sink is still an issue and that's just something small that I have to do daily.

I am not sure as to whether the pain is actually less than it was or if I have become better at handling it. Because if I didn't, then I wouldn't function at all! 

I also wonder if the numb/over sensitive scalp is linked, and therefore when that gets less will the pain get less? Or are they separate issues?

Last time I had this surgery I did have a numb ear and was told that this would sort itself out eventually. It took about a year before it got as good as it was going to get. I still have a small part of the top of my right ear that has less feeling than the rest. Therefore, is my numb scalp like this? Will it take a year to get as better as it will do? 

It seems like I am being left to wait this out. Left to hope that this will get better eventually. 

Knowing I had numbness last time, from the nerves being disturbed, to me it seems like the new nerve pain is a separate issue. I didn't have it last time, even though I had the numbness. Surely it would be better for me to speak to an expert rather than make up my own mind with all this!!?

So the incision sites are looking alright. 

My abdomen is slowly settling back down and is less ridged.

I am not worried about this and it didn't really hurt or is sensitive. I have been able to wear my skinny jeans without any issues.

My head looks very neat but the top area of the incision is still numb.

My hair is growing pretty fast, although this time this is not my main concern. The area to the right of the scar is where the extra wire is, but this time round it doesn't seem so obvious or circular.

My chest is still very tender. There is still bruising so it must have been jammed in there fairly brutally. The scar looks like it is going to settle down and heal well. I ma truly hoping that I don't get the same overscarring and added sensitivity that I had before. 

Since I have been wearing my normal clothes, I have noticed that the battery doesn't seem to stick out as much as it did. This makes me feel less conscious of it and less of chance that people will notice and stare. 

The scar shows a little bit but I think they have extended it backwards rather than more to the left, so it doesn't show anymore than it did before!

So if I hadn't had the added complications, I probably would be pretty far along the line of recovery from the surgery itself. I would be able to walk with any problems and would maybe be driving. I would of course need to be carful with carrying heavy items and stretching but I can imagine I wouldn't be in pain, but rather discomfort.

However, it is the new nerve pain that is the worse problem. I don't think I can drive without the pain happening and when it happens it often shocks me and caused me to wince or jump. Because of this, driving would be a danger.

At the moment I can't see how I can teach, even for an hour, with this pain. I usually think I can force myself to get through it, as it's only pain rather than causing more damage to myself, but his time I just couldn't cope! I know I couldn't.

And this knowledge is scary. If things don't start to ease soon, I just don't know what the future is!!